Colleagues and Friends...

I remember once way back in 1999 when I was in Bangalore and a colleague’s uncle had introduced me to some other people, “Meet Sandeep; he is a colleague of Ramesh.” That day I felt very bad. How could he use the cold word colleague when I actually thought we were good friends? A lot of water has passed under the bridge in the last (almost) decade and I have changed a lot. Today I don’t mind using the word colleague or even a colder one-acquaintance if I find that suitable. Anyways, let us come to the main topic. Is it a good idea to make friends in office or not? I of late have started feeling that it’s not such a great idea to have close friends in office. I feel very strange saying so because both my very good friends are the ones whom I had met during internship; so office has given me my so to say emotional anchors. But those were the days when there was hardly any competition among us, much less back stabbing and politics but today the scenario is very different. Everyone seems to have an agenda, right from licking someone to proving one’s superiority/smartness to passing the buck; there is no dearth of reason why someone out there is always ready to take you for a ride. However it is not easy to remain cold and extremely formal in office. Come on, you spend anything upward of 50-60 hours in office every week. You better enjoy the company over there. Consulting is every worse. You literally spend complete weeks with them when you are out on client assignments hence colleagues are more like friends; you work, you have fun, you share and you even sit by each other and care like a close pal (Senior, if you are reading this, you know what I am referring to) and hence it’s very important to send the right vibes and be friends with your colleagues. However things are not that rosy always. Fact remains that at the end of the day, everyone is here for a purpose and hence there are clashes and conflicts. Worse still, if people are by nature nasty they will hurt you even there doesn’t exist any reason for the same. There’s deceit, there’s camouflage, there’s double standardism, and there is every possible vice that exists in the world present in offices. Balancing all of these calls for a lot of maturity. On one hand you can either be either someone absolutely cold and aloof and on the other you could end up baring your ass for anyone to screw. It’s a tough call. At the end of the day, I still don’t know what is the right path? All I can say is that caution is the key; be friendly but not overtly and don’t spill all your beans to everyone. Be sure they are genuine and never forget that friends also have friends. For the rest, there is nothing which bars from having a good time together, talking some general or work related stuff, being friendly but still having zero expectations and not saying/doing anything that might tomorrow put you in a tight spot.