Segmentation Analysis- The fairer sex in Toto's

I love Toto's in Bandra..The music, the ambiance, the food, the price-value equation...everything there is so amazing...One of these nites when we were sitting over there ( as usual Lukhi junta)..and eyeing various females across the lenght and breadth of that place..we noticed that we were assigning different adjectives for different females present over there...babe/ non-male/ bitch/Ladies/ bachi/aunty/yuck/Technology/LT-ST/hot/piping hot...etc etc...so me thought that as it is I am not doing any work out here...why not try to create a reference document for all these words...no sexist stuff here...just what these mean...:) Babe: U dont know where the female will fit in but she does look pretty attractive...they are a segment whose boundaries are very flexible..i mean if there are more beautiful females around, she will become a female and if there are none..she will be labelled.hot..u know very circumstantial... Non-Male: No descriptions requried...All of us know what it means. Bitch: U look at her.she turns around and either holds the hands of her accompanying male friend/cuddles up with him/kisses him.and then looks at u through the corners of her eyes..with one wicked smile..what a BITCH Ladies: They constitute that rare set of females who accompany males of our category to Toto's and hence are referred to with respect Bachi:Totos is full of females of this category, all looking young, faking maturity, ciggi in one hand, bacardi breezer in another...yelling and jumping the moment they see their friends....amazing enthu group..and ya at times they make u be aware of how old we have become...muah...:( Aunty: Most of them dressed in a manner showing that they r straight coming from office...mid-aged...psued...lot of charm and grace.generally with men significantly younger..A sure shot way of identying Aunties: A female talking on the cell-phone..Dear, I will be late...am out on a office party with some collegues & wink...Mast wala lie!!! Yuck: This segment is very person to person dependent...but everyone finds a set of females there..u see them and say..Yuck... Technology: You look at them, find them attractive....so far so good. But as it always happens u give a second look...and what do u find...had it not been for the advancements in science/technology (cosmetics, surgery, etc etc) she wouldnt have deserved even a glance..forget a look.Lolz... LT-ST: The set of females u want to take home to when your Mom is there....thats LT...(long term).....ST (short term) is simple: desire to take her to the house when your Mom is not there... Hot: Thats the reason why u find Tots filled with lukha people like me... Piping Hot: They are what is called."visual viagra"...now cumon guys...this is a public blog.cant get more explicit... Cheers!!!

Good Strategy...Bad execution

A consultant, lets call him Mr. X was the perfect poster boy of consulting...he ate, drank, breathed and did everything like a consultant...so here was Mr. X, dressing up every day in a black suit (bought from the wardrobe allowance he received), a nice shirt with pearl cuffling, and needless to say accompained by his Mont Blanc pen, Omega watch and obviously his blackberry and cellphone, carrying ET (which he never read, except the headlines to present his view infront of teh client), and going to office in a Orix cab (whose bill, obv was foot by the client) and then helping (or whatever) clients in solving their CEO's "top of the mind concerns". So far so good.....but then Mr. X spotted a girl...a babe so to say....and he couldnt stop uttering,,"God! i must congratulate her parents for such wonderful value creation!". The girl heard that and came to ask him if he said something. Cornered, he could utter only one thing..."Lady, can we take this offline please" and the lady impressed by his manners, handed over her cell phone number to him..X opened his mouth to say ."Great....Thanks...mark my word...we'll keep this channel of communication open with no elements of intermediation" So started the love story of Mr. X...he courted his babe, lets call her Ms X...and ultimately her parents called him home to discuss marriage....he did his best to stretch the diagnostic period but in front of Ms X's concerns he had no option but to succumb and thus was borne his strategic alliance with Ms X. On marriage day, he promised his in-laws and everyone present there.."I swear, it will be a win-win situation for everyone involved" and with this promise Mr. and Ms (now Mrs) X moved up the value-chain!!! But then he faltered in his execution and soon his Monday morning to Friday evening outstation trips became too much of a bottleneck in the relationship for Mrs X and she started looking for external help to solve her top of the mind (and body) concerns...Mr. X started facing competition and silently some invisible hand (or d$%k) started gaining market (or bed) share....Mr X was usual busy in what he called...professional requirement and Mrs X was experiencing her moments of truth...slowly but steadily an unknown new face had become the market leader. Mrs X decided that handling two relationships was getting too much for her span of control and she seeked Divorce...when she decided this Mr. X as usual was away at a client's place giving a presentation on..."How to back up a good strategy with an equally great execution"...

Lemme go!!!!

I remember one of those HR classes, when I was awake and hence hearing the discussion. It was on the utility of Alumni Network, companies create and the prime reason that came forward for its existence was that it helped spread a good word about the organization by the ex-employee and keep ties with the firm; it’s a small world after all… However, when I see the situation around me, things seem to be quite different. I don’t know what bosses have in mind when they create pain for the leaving employee when they know that all they are doing is making him leave with a bad taste. Are they that naïve to think that the employee will good mouth the company even when they are treated so badly or have they not heard of recency effect, wherein when you move out, the thing that remains most with you are the last moments, the final days. Till date, I must say I have been very lucky on this count: be it the three farewell parties, the pen with my name embossed on it, assurance of discounted booze while in campus and the return flight with my choice of office car for Airport drop (they proposed an office car pick me up in Cal as well but I was like…oye bas bhi karo)…at Seagram (It’s a dream to expect all these nowadays) or the really smooth exit along with the monetary relief at TSMG (I had to pay the firm something around 65K which they worked around to ensure that I don’t have to), I have had good exists. Talking of recency effect, I think for me it manifested extremely well at one of these companies of whom I never thought too highly of, courtesy some issues and more than that the stories crated out of those issues but my view of that place did quite a vaulte face by the way the HR and Admin treated me at the time of leaving. One year of image formation changed quite a lot in one day…Amazing na!!!! But then when I look around at a lot of places, bosses including line bosses and HR, give such pain to the leaving employees that they just want to walk out of this shit. Ties are cut-off, people are bad mouthed, clients are lied to, settlement is unjustifiably held up, employees are made to run for Form 16, and all efforts are made to ensure that the employee is as pissed off as can be. And then comes one of the biggest facades of Corporate India: The Exit Interview. The boss/HR will tell you things about how big plans the company had for you, how well you were placed to cash in on the growth the company was about the witness blah blah and then comes the most amazing of all lines, “So, where do you think we can improve?.” And then you know that one honest negative feedback and your settlement etc will be hung up for god knows how long..So what do you do? Simple: say lines like, “Well, I don’t think I am in a position to comment on something as serious as areas of organizational improvements but I think you could do some things to boost employee morale, maybe u know increase communication levels..blah blah….” (though that’s not the case everywhere) And what when he leaves..the HR/Boss will come and gladly spread the word around…U know such and such person really wasn’t fitting with our organizational culture or a thing or two about the competence (or the lack of it) the employee had…knowing fully aware that he is speaking utter crap and that even the audience knows abt it!!!!