Kite Runner...What an amazing book!!!

Today morning, i finished reading this book and I must tell I have been very lucky to have laid my hands upon two damn sexy books in succession, the first being Many lives, Many masters... Kite Runner...doesnt have some out of the world amazing story nor does it state something as intriguing as past life as was the case in the other book but the sheer narrative of the story leaves you spell-bound plus its depiction of self-guilt, insecurity and above all the way life comes a full circle is truly amazing...I got so lost in the book that i neither brushed my teeth nor had my breakfast till afternoon...:) When I was reading through the book, I couldnt help but think of the wreck that is caused by ghosts inside us, either on account of grave secrets we have, our past lives or anything but these are stuff that leave us drenched and affect us in more than one ways..We pretend normalcy, we pretend happiness but thats not the case, deep inside there are these lingering feelings that just dont go away and haunt us wherever we go, whatever we do...the past actually never dies..we might run away from it, hide it but then it does haunt us..and not everyone has the guts nor are situations always that conducive for us to become a la the wife of the protagonist who could reveal all her past demons and shed the albatross...more often than not we are like her husband...just reeling under it, suffering and unable to do a shit about it...

Another thing that got me really thinking is about the vagaries of life..think about it...how suddenly his best friend got molested...how suddenly he realized that his servant was actually his half brother...two of the most defining moments of his life..moments that changed the course of his life and he couldnt do a shit about them...he couldnt plan for them...he couldnt have expected them even in his wildest imagination and worst still...whats his fault that life did this to him...what was his damn fault...in the first case, he was just a enthusiastic kid participating in a tournament..and in the second he was only a caring person visiting a person he loved so much...why did life have to bring so much chaos and catch him so unawares like this..??

Neverthelss...no point getting into these aspects....what u wish and what u can do are always two different things...

The year that was...

The year is drawing to a close and I thought why not do an appraisal of how it went. Ideally i should have waited for another two days to write this piece but then..chalta hai... So 2006...When i look back at it, there is nothing that makes me happy ..either on a personal or a professional front...though there have been some plus points peppered randomly but even those i think were only a handful...Nevertheless, whats the point in feeling fucked and brooding..lets look at the things that went well/learnings and be happy...

• Firmed my belief that people who are your own are the people that matter...and even if u fight/disagree/abuse each other..they are the only ones u can rely on at the direst of situation and I am happy to have such friends..Touchwood...
• Learned the importance of humility...there is a shit under your own control..so dont think yourself as the master of your destiny..or having the reigns of your life in your hand...
• To succeed all you need is good stuff between your ears...brains and luck...and u need them both...more so the latter..so that explains assholes who are better off than you...and accept that...
• Resumed writing...albiet stupid blogs like this...after a hiatus of close to a decade...
• Resumed reading...
• Made one serious attempt at kicking the butt...
• Shed the albatross of the perception of a very average guy in my ex-organization.(i think so...may be wrong)..with one Business Development and one project...Thank God, there is something called recency effect and if i have to take some reference from them, they will forget my initial stint there..
• Managed to appear very intelligent in a job interview and get a 30% pay hike:)
• Increased the circumference of my waist by an inch...a cool 3.5% improvement

And I think thats abt it...definitely not good enough...but then theres something called law of averages and I am looking forward to it manifesting itself in my life in 2007...

Cheers..

Feelin Gud.....

Since morning I havent had a smoke....not a single one...not even at the time of going for the morning loo, not even after food....Thank God!! and thank Suvidha for doing all the research and buying the patches for me and thank Amit for bringing them over. I am feeling good..Hope i continue feeling good... I had planned to start using it today for some time now. I am off for three days and hence would i have required some rest or soemthing, this would be a good time. But thankfully, this patch is quite a sexy thing....The migration has been quite effortless...no aching of arms, no headache, no feeling of being clamped down...Sahi chez hai...Hope the migration from pathces to nothing is smooth as well... I am not against indulgences...but apart from the negative effects of smoking, what i hated about it was that I was becoming a slave to it...and becoming a slave to anything is bad....And hopefully i wont touch the butt again..Amen And yes..did i tell u last nite i had a blast to celebrate turning a new page in my life...

Not so subtle undertones...

I was listening to this wonderful song..."Kuch to log kahenge" picturised on Rajesh Khanna and Sharmila Tagore...evening setting...and Mr. Khanna kind of coaxing the lady in the song in a room..And in this context I thought, why not try to decipher what the undertones of the song really mean...and here's what my wela mind has produced....(there are the lyrics and the undertone explained in italics)...enjoy... (Credits: The author sincerely thanks Atul Kumar for inputs on concept and specific inferences) kuchh to log kahenge, logaan kaa kaam hain kahanaa chhodo, bekaar kee baato mein , kahee beet naa jaaye rainaa “Come on Baby...dont waste time...dont fear the world...lets make the best use of the weather/ambiance/mood...” kuchh reet jagat kee ayesee hai har yek subah kee shaam huyee too kaun hai, teraa naam hain kyaa seetaa bhee yahaa badanaam huyee Now this is even more sinister...Touching on the appealing mythological chord...This is real coaxing…And what a logic, “ Look! People malign everyone…even the mighty Goddess!. So since as it is u r going to be maligned, you might as well (u know what)…….” fir kyo sansaar kee baaton se bheeg gaye tere nainaa “So Baby...pls dont think abt the world...dont bother..dont let a stupid guilt feeling come in between...(u know what).” hum ko jo taane dete hai hum khoye hain in rang raliyon me hum ne un ko bhee chhup chhup ke aate dekhaa in galiyon me ye sach hain zoothhee baat nahee And the last leg…equally touching..though on a different level…”Everyone does it…even people who voice loudly against indulgences have fun…So Baby, don’t worry…enjoy…and even if someone sees, it wont matter…I have seen them as well….so it will be mutual scratching of back” tum bolo ye sach hain naa “U agree to whatever i say...right???…..Cumon….”

In a poignant mode...

Last nite I was reading this pretty physcic book...Many lifes Many Masters...The story is essentially a narrative of a physciatrist of his experiences with a patient of his who starts talking of her earlier births, stage of non physical existence between two births and how some people meet across births.... I must say it was damn interesting...so much so that i finished the whole book at one go..the whole 200 odd pages... I mean stuff like these make u think...think aspects other than the typical.."job sucks, money sucks, boss sucks and there is no wife/gf to suck" stuff....I dont know how people react to reading stuff like this but for me, some of the things really made me think...think till late in the night, lying alone in my bed..and thinking about bizzare stuff; things like, What science justify's Mozart's brilliance at such an age???... However there was something towards which my mind drifted and somehow i was trying to relate the two of them, though that might be a bit too far fetched... Everyday i take an auto from my apartment to office in BKC and end up getting struck in traffic and seeing a bunch of urchins in absolutely sad state of existence...some of the instances are so sad that they put u completely off track....I recall seeing a battered young lady every day....must not be more than 17-18 years of age, begging...and she was pregnant...and a few days back i saw her begging..but this time with a difference.a deflated stomach and..she had a baby in her arms...I was like holy shit...how unfair life can be... Nevertheless i came back to my apartment and one of my friends called up.."Yaar, meri kismat to total c$#@%& hui hai...sala boss didnt give me the required salary hike" At that point in time, i couldnt help but completely ignore him....when i have jsut been a spectator (silent.i.e..i infact wanted to give her some money or something but knew that if i did, i would have a difficult time warding off the hoard of beggers who would flock)....to such unfairness of life, by no stretch of imagination I could bring myself to agree with this frnd of mine who considered being off by a lakh of rupees as bad. And last night, after reading the book, I was thinking about this very beggar....what's her folly that she was born in a house/slum like that and currently in a state like this...what's the damn fault of teh child that he was born to a beggar mom and was on the streets even before he has spend a month in this world.. In any other state, I would have been branded physco for taking my supposedly educated, scientific and rationale driven mind into these realms but last night for a change I was thinking about things at a level slightly higher from our mundane worries and I didnt want to be ashamed of it....