One moment..

One of the by-products of outstation visits is watching a lot of TV. I am stationed at a supposedly weekend getaway where I visit the beach only to find out that its pitch dark and the local people explain why,”Sir, yahan jo aate hain, unko light ki jaroraat nahin”. I had no such fortune/intentions and as such I have no option but to sit in the hotel room and watch TV. Nevertheless, enough of side talk; let’s come to the point. The last song that came was some which repeated Lal Lal n number of times. And some respite, it wasn’t Himesh. Pretty ordinary song (even with Priyanka Chopra) but one line caught my attention… “Uski bat ban jaati hai, jo na ganwaye mauka….” (For those naïve in Hindi: Things go well for people who don’t waste opportunities) I really liked these line…Think of it; u mite be fucking good, but if u have floundered at one critical moment, you are screwed. You might be a damn good student, but if u made that one critical mistake, you are fucked; you might be a damn genuine friend, but if you mess one time, its gone; you could have been a damn good boyfriend, but if u have said one wrong sentence in the initial courtship period, you have had it, all gone and lost…one mistake when it matters most..just one.. No one gives a damn!! One wrong move and it all goes away. Life doesn’t give a damn on what your intentions are, what you are really worth, what you really deserve, what you really are in a steady state of affairs. All that matters is how you have been as measured in these critical moments. Think of it, just one moment decides so much. And if you are one of those whose external behaviour/conduct has a flat bell curve a lot of times, all the thought about genuineness, what you deserve etc are nothing more than thoughts which give solace in times of solitude and that happens pretty frequently. How I wish some 6 sigma project was available for this… And this is not the end of the problem. Most of the times, we are judged by not what we mean, but what we are seen as meaning. Judgment is cast depending on the judge’s interpretation of your external conduct. Wow, what a damn situation. In an ideal situation, one should be judged by one’s intentions, but in reality: Your intentions translate into your action, your action takes some shape and these external manifests are viewed by someone else to cast a judgment: 2 stages of intermediation and both offering immense scope for fuck-up. What you intend need not come out in your action and your action need not be interpreted by the judge in the right manner. Fuck up, Fuck up and more fuck up. Anyway, there is no point getting into all these discussions. Life is rarely fair….

Crib!!!!

Show me one person who doesnt crib. We crib regarding everything and best part is anything we do, the crib doesnt stop. Lets take one example...no prizzes for guessing what..its of Babies... Right from people with beautiful (milder version of hot) babies cribbing about everyone ogling at you know what...to people with not so beautiful babies cribbing the previosuly mentioned lucky folks...to people with no babies cribbing about the fact that the only thing they seem destined to do is ogle at other girls...to people with multiple babies cribbing about, how one girl doesnt allow him to enjoy his privacy with others....people crib in every situation.... Even at job..at times I feel that my work time oscillates between either sitting at office or visiting some godforsaken client location..And either situation involves a crib...if u r in office u crib about how bad it is trying to control things with a remote control and not being where the action is..to if u r at client location u crib about how u have to travel 5 hours a day while ur other friends have confortably glued their asses to the seats... However, some people have reached a different plane altogether in this art of cribbing...A close friend once gave me a call to ask for my company over dinner since he wanted to discuss something very important..and guess what were his opening lines.."Bro, everything seems fine, but on a higher plane I dont know where I am headed; what direction is my life taking.etc etc". Guess people find reasons to crib, even when there's none!!!! And though slightly disconnected, I cant help but end this piece with a remark I made to one HR lady in an intrvw (such things u typically keep reserved for interviews only): Well, I think its very important to strike a balance between satiety and desire to do more and more...Satiety cause its the source of happiness and desire ensures that complacenecy doesnt creep in...hence its very important to strike a balance between the two. We should crib but in a balanced manner!!!! Dont know what she actually thought (female and that too HR...can you ever even remotely make out what she would be thinking)...but said.."Its a really interesting thought and I must say, very mature as well." Lolz...How i love these HR interviews!!!!

Nice observation...

Someone recently told me... Ramzan....one of the holiest periods for Muslims has the Hindu word "Ram" in it and similarly "Diwali", one of the most famous festivals for Hindus has the Muslim word "Ali" in it.... Nice observation!!

Just a thought....

Life is weird. I remember an old saying which goes something like, “You don’t know the wealth of water till the well is dry”. Think about it; its so strange na. To appreciate and realize its value, u have to lose it, the well has to turn dry. So unfair; the appreciation for a certain thing comes only when the thing is already gone; rarely does life give the chance of having something and enjoying it too under the awareness of its importance. Lets not go very senti…lets look at a simple example…how does it feel when u are expecting a call and keep looking at your cell phone, expecting that now the call will come, now the call will come and as always happens, it gets delayed..and what happens to you in the meantime, your palpitation increases, your anxiety increases, you start thinking about all kind of possibilities and when the call finally comes, you are so damn happy….Let me put u a simple question,”Would you be so happy if the call came as expected?” The answer is a simple no. What does it mean; your source of happiness also lies in the delay in the call or the pain associated with it. It’s so damn strange and amusing; for happiness to be enhanced, it needs to be preceded by pain and here again, what an irony: greater the pain, greater the subsequent joy. But if that were the case, life would be simple. But as is the reality, whatever is in the present is sure, whatever is to happen in future has an element of doubt or risk in it, you can never say for sure you will get something or not. Future is after all future and present is present…and however hard you try, you cant bring to present some things u want and keep shifting into future the things you don’t…

Heights and falls

Sometime back I met a very interesting person.....we talked essentially work but as it always happens, it was occassionally intercepted with some "off the record" and general talk as well. We discussed a lot of things but one thing that stayed with me was a statement which he made.."The result or pain of a fall depends not on the land where u fall but on the height from where u fall"... For a moment, I really couldnt figure out what is he trying to say, he kind of read through my perplexed eyes and remarked....I am referring to the vagaries of life and the weird trajectory it takes... I couldnt help but think about it throughout my ride back....Long time back, Mom had made a similar remark.Poverty doesnt hurt per se, but being rich and then turning poor hurts..(though that time, me-a typical rebellious teenager, couldnt bother less about it) I mean, the whole problem in life is that we do not go through a constant linear state of being....at times we see so much happiness that we start believing that this is steady state and then as always happens, the fall happens...n then the status quo changes, bringing with it pain and suffering...inadvertently with the thought somewhere at the back of our mind...Shit! how things have changed... Always, it happpens....we hardly say...Shit...how things are...We always say....Shit..how things have become....its the delta we talk about and the effect is always dependent on the delta...not on the absolute stuff.... Which brings us to a hypothetical, rather absurd thought....Should we rather be in an average bad state of being rather than sporadic states of really bad times peppered with intermittent flashes of joy....???

Memories from School....

Being slightly good in your scorecards is a huge advantage during your childhood, where the score or rank in the exams is a kind of single appraisal point. And it was due to that I always managed to get unscathed though at times I felt very guilty when some of my friends’ parents chided their children for this…and through the corners of my eyes, I could always see them using the choicest of words for me in their minds

Childhood was awesome fun and we were real pranksters and naughty. Right from sneaking a small binocular in my bag (Mom had brought it for me, least aware of the use it would be subsequently put to) to use it for the common good of peeking into the girl’s common room to reciting sections of some porn magazine to a very attentive class (obv when the teacher wasn’t present), we were a bunch of real naughty guys. While there were many such incidents till class X, here are some which I often get nostalgic about.

• Aaja meri gaadi mai baith ja- This was Ritesh at his best. He had a huge crush on this girl, 3 years our junior and one fine day we were driving back in his Ambassador when we see this girl, going infront of us. We go near her, stop the car, open the door and play the then famous Baba Sehgal’s ”Aaja meri gaadi mai baith ja..aaja meri gaadi mai baith ja”. Needless to say, we had a tough time apologizing to the principal the next day.
• The blade and the ass: this was what was supposed to be total harmless fun but went nasty. There was this new guy, a boarder who had joined our class. Now in the background of the typical dayscholar Vs boarder rivalry, we knew there would be something today. So, a blade was put in the chair where he was supposed to sit. And unfortunately the blade cut through and made way right in some unsolicited territory. While no major harm was done, it was bad enough for the class to again get suspended.
• Alex and Co love for tadi (local liquor) : this was particularly amusing. Alex and some of his friends had this local liquor called Tadi in one of our picnics and developed a fondness for it. Given its resemblance to Limca, they could easily bribe the canteen guy to procure it, bottle in Limca and give it to them, which they could easily sip after classes. What happened post being caught was anybody’s imagination.
• Chirania’s condom collection- people have weird fantasies. Chiru had this really weird collection of condoms which he kept meticulously arranged in a photo-album, with the condom pasted on the right flap and its description in the left. (He never got to use any). Now the funniest part is that in one of the box room raids, it got caught and in the dinner hall that night it was really really amusing to have the Vice Principal holding the album, flicking it and saying,”So this is the source of Chirania’s inspiration”
• Rendering a teacher unconscious- this I must say was over doing things. We wanted a particular prefect to accompany us to the class picnic. As always happens, the class teacher assigned a different one. Big deal, we went with the designated teacher, made him smell something (forgetting what’s it called), he became unconscious, we put him in a mattress, dumped him in a corner and carried him back to the hostel. No prizes for guessing that the class was suspended the next day.
• The Chaos in Chemistry labs- we always looked forward to Chemistry Lab classes. We tried our hands at everything, broke as many test tubes as we could, threw mild acids at each other blazers (ruining them) and what not. The theory classes were no better actually, with all kinds of noices, crackers, seven seas smells etc

Breasts@KFC

Yesterday me and Vittal were standing at KFC waiting for our turn to order...Next to us a mid aged lady says to the lady in the counter... "Give me a breast"!!! Me thought,"One more"!!!! Probably Vittal was thinking the same...both of us were smiling.... Food for thought- What would be the reaction of the counter lady if i said,"Give me a breast"

Perils of Straight-jacketed thought

I was with some friends last night and amidst all the usual "kya babies hai, bby roads r so bad, pata nahin bonus kitna aayega..etc etc..", there was this incident which was told to me by a friend of mine. What he essentially was saying taht for people who are educated and well-off, the typical"hum do humare do" might not really be a good idea and it was actually an interesting thought. In this context, if we read it with the Financial Times Article on November 15, 2006 "Engaging India: Demographic Dividend or Disaster", it indeed is food for profound IM. Before I further dwell into the topic, lets attempt to understand the background in which the idea was propagated. I think, though not sure that this hum do humare do came into being to educate masses about the virtues of a small family in the background of abject poverty in which indian junta at large stayed. However those were the days when the human capital thought was not really the in-thing and knowledge capital, much less the concept of knowledge economy, was simply not present. Circa, 21st century and suddenly people are being thought of as the source of capital, as the harbinger of wealth to nations and not an albatross slowing the speed of a nation trying to speed to posperity. In this context, this FT article is particularly interesting. What the article essentially does is blast India's propaganda of showcasing its prosperity as derived from its demographics without doing a deep-dive into it. The whole thought of demographics driven knowledge economy etc etc, is applicable not based on demographics alone but on the demographic profile. Having a population of 1Bn plus is not a virtue in itself, having a substantial portion of it which is educated, learned and shifts the economy from subsistence agriculture to industry/services is the driver behind it. Now comes this hum do humare do....The lower strata of the economy (using Prof Prhalad's words-The Destitutes) do still produce kids in hoardes, while the rest are producing much lesser...one two....maybe none...And it doesnt take much grey matter to make out that posterity of destitutes are much less likely to be educated and add to the knowledge capital than that of the aspirants, climbers or the rest. I am not saying its impossible, I am not talking of exceptional geniuses etc, I am talking in general. A kid from an educated family is much more likely to grow up well groomed, well educated and add much more value to himself and in this process to the economy and the society and that of a very poor person. And what happens if the growth rates in these two sections are very different. In the long run, the profile will change, for worse of course. Another factor, which I think is imporant in this aspect is the coming of women in the workforce. I have come across a couple of females who have decided to marry but not have kids at all, given that it is difficult to balance job with kids. If this trends continue and more and more ladies join the fray, it does not take much grey matter to analyze what will it do to the overall demographic profile... Think abt all these. Should we blindly follow "hum do humare do"? The nation requires a particular demographic profile and for that, we are the consituents of the soceity have different roles. Let me attempt to make what should be the expectations from each of the constitutents in the greater national interest: Government: Encourage people in the right demographic bracket to have more kids. Think about it, if an educated person has more kids, not only will he contribute more to the economy in the long run; in the short run, it will also mark some shift from consumption expenditure to investment expenditure (and the latter is always more desirable in the long run). Eg: he will spend less on holidaying and partying out and spend more on educating his children. The Government may also give tax benefits for qualified professionals having more than 2 kids, it can be something like a step wise incentive scheme...something like 100 bps reduction in the maxmimum marignal personal tax rate for every kid above 2. So if u have 3 kids, u pay 29% tax, if u have 4, something like 28%. Employers & Society: Facilitate the process of raising more kids. Offices should have nurseries, care-taking maids etc. They should offer some aphrosidiac snacks. Society can reward people in the right bracket having the maximum number of kids (subject to a upper cut-off) as the value creators in the society award or somethig like that..There are so many things that can be done. We, the people: Simple, for your nation, have more babies and now since u cant bank on your ability of having twins, triplets etc, and also since you want to keep the ratio of your productive/for pleasure sex constant, have more sex. Its the call of the nation.

Optimism abound...

Time can bring you down, Time can bend your knees. Time can break your heart, Have you begging please, begging please. Beyond the door,There's peace I'm sure, And I know there'll be no moreTears in heaven. -Eric Clapton (Tears in Heaven) Where, oh where, can my baby be? The lord took her away fromMe. Shes gone to heaven, so Ive got to be good. So I can see my baby when I leave this world. - Pearl Jam (Last Kiss) You must be wondering why have i put these two songs which are in such different genre and by such different bands...well, there's one simple connect between the two...Both of them depict real loss; The first being in memory of loss of Clapton's son and the second depicting the death of a loved one after a car crash... What is amazing is not that they depict death or bereavment but the fact that they talk about optimism of such great magnitude...optimism going beyond life and death, finding their loved ones in heaven and hence being good in their present life..Those who have read Dr Brain Welsh's books (noteably Many lifes, many masters and Only love is real) or believe in the concept of reincarnation might agree to these songs but what makes me think is: is it really practical. Loss is loss and there is nothing that one can do to undo that...nevertheless, being eternal optimists we hope that things will be good and when the writing on the wall becomes too clear we know that this is not possible and then we resort to all these concepts for making us feel good. I understand people taking solace in hypothetical situations or memories but taking solace in the fact that my next life will be good seems too much of a stretch to a normal person. However if we look at just Tears in Heaven and understand it contextually, we might be just able to appreciate it. I guess Clapton was not in a normal rational state of mind, which should be very normal, given the extent of griel and hence these thoughts. These are bizzare thoughts but they do give solace for some time and sooner or later life restores to normalcy with that void, with that loss and you just learn to live with it...its as simple as that....

New Catchword..

Guess...whats the latest adjective for females who make us salivate... Tata Sky... Why??..Simple...Isko laga dala to life jingalala.... Credits: This is an act of plagiarism...this is KG's idea...

Of Sick people....

Some days back I was reading this book "Night" by Elie Wiesel. The book is a shocking, almost nightmarish narrative of the author's experience in Nazi Concentration Camp during the World War-II. The book will shake u up...to say the least...by its sheer narrative power which does not meander here and there...it states just the facts and what the author....then a young boy is feeling.(the book is just 110 odd pages)..To quote few lines from the book.. "Never shall I forget the little faces of the children, whose bodies I saw turned into wreaths of smoke before the silent blue sky. Never shall I forget those flames which consumed my faith forever.Never shall I forget the nocturnal silence which deprived me for all eternity of the desire to live. Never shall I forget those moments which murdered my God and my soul and turned my dream into dust." And mind you, its not fiction..its fact... And then around that time, the Nithari case also came into light and then add some serial killer/molestation stories that come across in various channels...and then u realize what have we done...how can someone do something like this...is there or is there not something called conscience...how can a person after doing something of this kind sleep, how can he eat, how can he be at peace with oneself, how can he live... I guess these people are not normals, they are mentally sick; and maybe its to do with some real tragedy in their lives (filling them with that sense of vendetta), upbringing, their sense of depriviation in life, their education which has instilled their minds with wrong notions/views etc or if none of this true..then maybe its what is called manufacturing defect...but i am sure these people are not normal...For eg, assume for a moment that the child depicted in the controversial Pearl Jam video "Jeremy" actually didnt shoot himself...arent chances significant that he wouldnt be normal in the sense of the term and potentially could become one of these... I personally know a person (though, thankfully he is not this weird) and I, along with all other people who know him, are convinced that he is a sick man, a sick bastard...cause the sadistic things he does and the pleasure he gets out of that, no sane person would do/enjoy..and sometimes we think what could have been done to ameliorate his behaviour and one thing that comes to our mind is physciatric help... I personally think that physciatric help can go a long way to ease life (atleast to some extent) for a lot of such sick people and as a result to those around him though as a society we are majorly averse to it..And not only that, even for normal people, I think it can be benefecial, some help, some counselling provided its taken in the right spirit and not tantamount to a person becoming a lunatic/idiot..How many times have we felt just like pouring our hearts out, crying out, reaching out for help and looking for a catalyst who would help us shed our albatross. In earlier times, family provided that great emotional anchor and in today's context, given that most of us stay away from our family and 99% of all remaining relationships can best be described as need or convenience based, how much do these people benefit is anyone's imagination.... And this also explains why for so many of us, pleasure means a session of binge drinking, chain smoking, short term relationships, trance nights...where's the serenity man, wheres the peace!!!! Reminds me of that Black Eyed Peas song..."Where is the love?"...

Kite Runner...What an amazing book!!!

Today morning, i finished reading this book and I must tell I have been very lucky to have laid my hands upon two damn sexy books in succession, the first being Many lives, Many masters... Kite Runner...doesnt have some out of the world amazing story nor does it state something as intriguing as past life as was the case in the other book but the sheer narrative of the story leaves you spell-bound plus its depiction of self-guilt, insecurity and above all the way life comes a full circle is truly amazing...I got so lost in the book that i neither brushed my teeth nor had my breakfast till afternoon...:) When I was reading through the book, I couldnt help but think of the wreck that is caused by ghosts inside us, either on account of grave secrets we have, our past lives or anything but these are stuff that leave us drenched and affect us in more than one ways..We pretend normalcy, we pretend happiness but thats not the case, deep inside there are these lingering feelings that just dont go away and haunt us wherever we go, whatever we do...the past actually never dies..we might run away from it, hide it but then it does haunt us..and not everyone has the guts nor are situations always that conducive for us to become a la the wife of the protagonist who could reveal all her past demons and shed the albatross...more often than not we are like her husband...just reeling under it, suffering and unable to do a shit about it...

Another thing that got me really thinking is about the vagaries of life..think about it...how suddenly his best friend got molested...how suddenly he realized that his servant was actually his half brother...two of the most defining moments of his life..moments that changed the course of his life and he couldnt do a shit about them...he couldnt plan for them...he couldnt have expected them even in his wildest imagination and worst still...whats his fault that life did this to him...what was his damn fault...in the first case, he was just a enthusiastic kid participating in a tournament..and in the second he was only a caring person visiting a person he loved so much...why did life have to bring so much chaos and catch him so unawares like this..??

Neverthelss...no point getting into these aspects....what u wish and what u can do are always two different things...

The year that was...

The year is drawing to a close and I thought why not do an appraisal of how it went. Ideally i should have waited for another two days to write this piece but then..chalta hai... So 2006...When i look back at it, there is nothing that makes me happy ..either on a personal or a professional front...though there have been some plus points peppered randomly but even those i think were only a handful...Nevertheless, whats the point in feeling fucked and brooding..lets look at the things that went well/learnings and be happy...

• Firmed my belief that people who are your own are the people that matter...and even if u fight/disagree/abuse each other..they are the only ones u can rely on at the direst of situation and I am happy to have such friends..Touchwood...
• Learned the importance of humility...there is a shit under your own control..so dont think yourself as the master of your destiny..or having the reigns of your life in your hand...
• To succeed all you need is good stuff between your ears...brains and luck...and u need them both...more so the latter..so that explains assholes who are better off than you...and accept that...
• Resumed writing...albiet stupid blogs like this...after a hiatus of close to a decade...
• Resumed reading...
• Made one serious attempt at kicking the butt...
• Shed the albatross of the perception of a very average guy in my ex-organization.(i think so...may be wrong)..with one Business Development and one project...Thank God, there is something called recency effect and if i have to take some reference from them, they will forget my initial stint there..
• Managed to appear very intelligent in a job interview and get a 30% pay hike:)
• Increased the circumference of my waist by an inch...a cool 3.5% improvement

And I think thats abt it...definitely not good enough...but then theres something called law of averages and I am looking forward to it manifesting itself in my life in 2007...

Cheers..

Feelin Gud.....

Since morning I havent had a smoke....not a single one...not even at the time of going for the morning loo, not even after food....Thank God!! and thank Suvidha for doing all the research and buying the patches for me and thank Amit for bringing them over. I am feeling good..Hope i continue feeling good... I had planned to start using it today for some time now. I am off for three days and hence would i have required some rest or soemthing, this would be a good time. But thankfully, this patch is quite a sexy thing....The migration has been quite effortless...no aching of arms, no headache, no feeling of being clamped down...Sahi chez hai...Hope the migration from pathces to nothing is smooth as well... I am not against indulgences...but apart from the negative effects of smoking, what i hated about it was that I was becoming a slave to it...and becoming a slave to anything is bad....And hopefully i wont touch the butt again..Amen And yes..did i tell u last nite i had a blast to celebrate turning a new page in my life...

Not so subtle undertones...

I was listening to this wonderful song..."Kuch to log kahenge" picturised on Rajesh Khanna and Sharmila Tagore...evening setting...and Mr. Khanna kind of coaxing the lady in the song in a room..And in this context I thought, why not try to decipher what the undertones of the song really mean...and here's what my wela mind has produced....(there are the lyrics and the undertone explained in italics)...enjoy... (Credits: The author sincerely thanks Atul Kumar for inputs on concept and specific inferences) kuchh to log kahenge, logaan kaa kaam hain kahanaa chhodo, bekaar kee baato mein , kahee beet naa jaaye rainaa “Come on Baby...dont waste time...dont fear the world...lets make the best use of the weather/ambiance/mood...” kuchh reet jagat kee ayesee hai har yek subah kee shaam huyee too kaun hai, teraa naam hain kyaa seetaa bhee yahaa badanaam huyee Now this is even more sinister...Touching on the appealing mythological chord...This is real coaxing…And what a logic, “ Look! People malign everyone…even the mighty Goddess!. So since as it is u r going to be maligned, you might as well (u know what)…….” fir kyo sansaar kee baaton se bheeg gaye tere nainaa “So Baby...pls dont think abt the world...dont bother..dont let a stupid guilt feeling come in between...(u know what).” hum ko jo taane dete hai hum khoye hain in rang raliyon me hum ne un ko bhee chhup chhup ke aate dekhaa in galiyon me ye sach hain zoothhee baat nahee And the last leg…equally touching..though on a different level…”Everyone does it…even people who voice loudly against indulgences have fun…So Baby, don’t worry…enjoy…and even if someone sees, it wont matter…I have seen them as well….so it will be mutual scratching of back” tum bolo ye sach hain naa “U agree to whatever i say...right???…..Cumon….”

In a poignant mode...

Last nite I was reading this pretty physcic book...Many lifes Many Masters...The story is essentially a narrative of a physciatrist of his experiences with a patient of his who starts talking of her earlier births, stage of non physical existence between two births and how some people meet across births.... I must say it was damn interesting...so much so that i finished the whole book at one go..the whole 200 odd pages... I mean stuff like these make u think...think aspects other than the typical.."job sucks, money sucks, boss sucks and there is no wife/gf to suck" stuff....I dont know how people react to reading stuff like this but for me, some of the things really made me think...think till late in the night, lying alone in my bed..and thinking about bizzare stuff; things like, What science justify's Mozart's brilliance at such an age???... However there was something towards which my mind drifted and somehow i was trying to relate the two of them, though that might be a bit too far fetched... Everyday i take an auto from my apartment to office in BKC and end up getting struck in traffic and seeing a bunch of urchins in absolutely sad state of existence...some of the instances are so sad that they put u completely off track....I recall seeing a battered young lady every day....must not be more than 17-18 years of age, begging...and she was pregnant...and a few days back i saw her begging..but this time with a difference.a deflated stomach and..she had a baby in her arms...I was like holy shit...how unfair life can be... Nevertheless i came back to my apartment and one of my friends called up.."Yaar, meri kismat to total c$#@%& hui hai...sala boss didnt give me the required salary hike" At that point in time, i couldnt help but completely ignore him....when i have jsut been a spectator (silent.i.e..i infact wanted to give her some money or something but knew that if i did, i would have a difficult time warding off the hoard of beggers who would flock)....to such unfairness of life, by no stretch of imagination I could bring myself to agree with this frnd of mine who considered being off by a lakh of rupees as bad. And last night, after reading the book, I was thinking about this very beggar....what's her folly that she was born in a house/slum like that and currently in a state like this...what's the damn fault of teh child that he was born to a beggar mom and was on the streets even before he has spend a month in this world.. In any other state, I would have been branded physco for taking my supposedly educated, scientific and rationale driven mind into these realms but last night for a change I was thinking about things at a level slightly higher from our mundane worries and I didnt want to be ashamed of it....

What they say and what they mean.....

There is something called falsification and there is something called factually correct but totally misleading statements...and corporate life is full of the second one. Though my experience with this species has been short, there are some statements which really amuse me...and the sad part is that they get repeated with alarming frequency...Statements which prima-facie say something but in essence mean something very different...Here, I attempt to pen few such statements that I can think of..(the left hand side is the statement and the right hand side is the actual meaning of the same)

• We are in the process of building up>>> We have been faced with an exodus and we are trying to get people to join us. As of now, we are very thinly staffed.
• Comfort with ambiguity>>> I dont know a shit about the problem you are grappling with. Please do on ur own..with help from...Google (obviously)
• You are at the point of influxion in the learning curve>>> I know you havent learnt anything from me till now...hope in future u can....
• We do not hire people for salary>>> We pay peanuts
• We are a dynamic organization>>> Our attrition rate is over 100%
• We do not believe in fleecing the client and that approach shows in our attitude towards the employees as well>>> Dont expect anything on the employee welfare front from us
• We did not select the guy cause he didnt show a willingess to learn>>> I have no rational reason for not selecting the guy...The cause is in my will
• We will try to bring about change management>> There is no benchmark for my performance appraisal...worst there is no deliverable
• Tell me...where does the organization need to improve..Cumon be frank>> Give me ammunition so that i can fuck ur happiness when i need to do so...
• The organization will get fresh blood with these guys joining>> These guys have nothing tangible to show...
• Our gentleman brings in an amazing breadth of experience across various industries>> Bloody rolling stone

Teaching 29 to a derivatives guy

Now, this was going to be fun....Firday nite..and me unusually late in office....nevertheless determination knows no bound and i knew that i wouldnt screw up my weekend welcome by sitting at my apartment and watching Altaf Raja in his new avtaar crooning alongwith a bunch of semi-nude females imitating a-la Demi Moore gyrating infront of a salivating Burt Reynolds in Striptease.... So, moi sent a couple of sms'es..the typical....kya scene and as luck would have it, found some folks ready to come down for a round (and some more) of beer and a game of cards.... KG and his juny (and our new found friend from F-17, Viay Gupta) confimed their presence...Atul and Rajesh were alredy there..KG would be coming late..which meant that till midnite we had to play 29...but one guy had to be taught...and it had to be Vinay...Atul took the onerous task of doing that...one Private Equity guy teaching a Derivatives guy,,,,how to play 29....check it out..snippets of the conversation... Atul: Party, u start bidding from 16 and go upto 29...or 32.. Vinay: U mean 16 is the floor and 29/32 is the cap.. Atul:..aree mast.....dekh, u bid based on your 4 cards and the remaining 4 will come later Vinay: Mane ki...call option Atul:...mache diye ho....agar kismat achi chal rahi hai to colour banate rahna chahiye.... Vinay: haan haan, duniya bull run main paise banati hai... Atul: acha sun....u should also see samne wala kaise colour banata hai..etc etc Vinay: aree wahi na..refer to technical analysis for past behaviour Atul: ekdamn sahi...dekh, agar samne wala ka risk appetite jyada hoga to woh gande cards main bhi colour banayega.... Vinay: aree haan re, hedge fund aur private equity investment main difference to hota hi hai Atul: 7th card ka bhi funda hota hai....but its very risky.. Vinay: bola to, selling a call option in a bull market.... Atul: but agar woh single card nikla to u can change the card Vinay: matlab hedging available hai.... And so the discussion went on...Vinay learnt a great deal and we were swamped with words like market skimming, call/put, hedging etc etc and for us it was ...as they said in Indore..machau

It's enuf....

Unfortunately, for the last year and half or so, I have been seeing tragedies... to me and to people close enough to affect me...infact there have been more...with people acquianted to me ...but for them I havent really bothered beyond that required by basic humanitarian or social grounds...but even after trying my level best to keep myself cheerful, every now and then something or the other has happened which has made me real upset and sorry. There have been deaths, there have been diseases, worse there has been heartbreaks, there has been shocks, there has been a change in the course of life for worse and there has been waiting for the tragedy to happen...and there has been the facade of cheer and normalcy beneath all the pain and sorrow, which u know that someone is putting but then u dont know what to do and let it continue as it is. Infact some of the instances that I have come to know about a few people close to me are such that in our normal lives, we would otherwise associate such things to only some melodramatic piece of fiction. But one striking thing is that all events in life thankfully come with a "the end". Every night has a following sunrise and the worst part in life is when you sleep knowing that today wasnt the worst and tomorrow could be just that bad day you had been waiting for, something you pray and wish didnt happen but know it has to...if not tomorrow, a day later..a few days later but will happen soon. I personally think thats the worst part in life, waiting for some imminent tragedy to strike, some death, some bereavment. One of my friends went through just that and having seen so much myself, I only pray for him that things turn for better soon. Afterall, somewhere there has to be an end.....it cant go on like this for ever..... Being on my own for a decade or so and being associated with some of the nastiest people anyone could come across have made me kind of a stoic and have a typical," I care a fuck"....but of late, there has been such a series of bad news for close people that I get real upset and sorry and even more worrying is the awareness of the fact that what i know is only a part of the problem...no rational person would go on with a crying face, knowing fully well how people shun them.....Hope i get to hear some good news from my folks soon...and god willing it should be comming from people who deserve a smile...really deserve one... Amen

Segmentation Analysis- The fairer sex in Toto's

I love Toto's in Bandra..The music, the ambiance, the food, the price-value equation...everything there is so amazing...One of these nites when we were sitting over there ( as usual Lukhi junta)..and eyeing various females across the lenght and breadth of that place..we noticed that we were assigning different adjectives for different females present over there...babe/ non-male/ bitch/Ladies/ bachi/aunty/yuck/Technology/LT-ST/hot/piping hot...etc etc...so me thought that as it is I am not doing any work out here...why not try to create a reference document for all these words...no sexist stuff here...just what these mean...:) Babe: U dont know where the female will fit in but she does look pretty attractive...they are a segment whose boundaries are very flexible..i mean if there are more beautiful females around, she will become a female and if there are none..she will be labelled.hot..u know very circumstantial... Non-Male: No descriptions requried...All of us know what it means. Bitch: U look at her.she turns around and either holds the hands of her accompanying male friend/cuddles up with him/kisses him.and then looks at u through the corners of her eyes..with one wicked smile..what a BITCH Ladies: They constitute that rare set of females who accompany males of our category to Toto's and hence are referred to with respect Bachi:Totos is full of females of this category, all looking young, faking maturity, ciggi in one hand, bacardi breezer in another...yelling and jumping the moment they see their friends....amazing enthu group..and ya at times they make u be aware of how old we have become...muah...:( Aunty: Most of them dressed in a manner showing that they r straight coming from office...mid-aged...psued...lot of charm and grace.generally with men significantly younger..A sure shot way of identying Aunties: A female talking on the cell-phone..Dear, I will be late...am out on a office party with some collegues & wink...Mast wala lie!!! Yuck: This segment is very person to person dependent...but everyone finds a set of females there..u see them and say..Yuck... Technology: You look at them, find them attractive....so far so good. But as it always happens u give a second look...and what do u find...had it not been for the advancements in science/technology (cosmetics, surgery, etc etc) she wouldnt have deserved even a glance..forget a look.Lolz... LT-ST: The set of females u want to take home to when your Mom is there....thats LT...(long term).....ST (short term) is simple: desire to take her to the house when your Mom is not there... Hot: Thats the reason why u find Tots filled with lukha people like me... Piping Hot: They are what is called."visual viagra"...now cumon guys...this is a public blog.cant get more explicit... Cheers!!!