One moment..

One of the by-products of outstation visits is watching a lot of TV. I am stationed at a supposedly weekend getaway where I visit the beach only to find out that its pitch dark and the local people explain why,”Sir, yahan jo aate hain, unko light ki jaroraat nahin”. I had no such fortune/intentions and as such I have no option but to sit in the hotel room and watch TV. Nevertheless, enough of side talk; let’s come to the point. The last song that came was some which repeated Lal Lal n number of times. And some respite, it wasn’t Himesh. Pretty ordinary song (even with Priyanka Chopra) but one line caught my attention… “Uski bat ban jaati hai, jo na ganwaye mauka….” (For those naïve in Hindi: Things go well for people who don’t waste opportunities) I really liked these line…Think of it; u mite be fucking good, but if u have floundered at one critical moment, you are screwed. You might be a damn good student, but if u made that one critical mistake, you are fucked; you might be a damn genuine friend, but if you mess one time, its gone; you could have been a damn good boyfriend, but if u have said one wrong sentence in the initial courtship period, you have had it, all gone and lost…one mistake when it matters most..just one.. No one gives a damn!! One wrong move and it all goes away. Life doesn’t give a damn on what your intentions are, what you are really worth, what you really deserve, what you really are in a steady state of affairs. All that matters is how you have been as measured in these critical moments. Think of it, just one moment decides so much. And if you are one of those whose external behaviour/conduct has a flat bell curve a lot of times, all the thought about genuineness, what you deserve etc are nothing more than thoughts which give solace in times of solitude and that happens pretty frequently. How I wish some 6 sigma project was available for this… And this is not the end of the problem. Most of the times, we are judged by not what we mean, but what we are seen as meaning. Judgment is cast depending on the judge’s interpretation of your external conduct. Wow, what a damn situation. In an ideal situation, one should be judged by one’s intentions, but in reality: Your intentions translate into your action, your action takes some shape and these external manifests are viewed by someone else to cast a judgment: 2 stages of intermediation and both offering immense scope for fuck-up. What you intend need not come out in your action and your action need not be interpreted by the judge in the right manner. Fuck up, Fuck up and more fuck up. Anyway, there is no point getting into all these discussions. Life is rarely fair….