Relationships

By far one of the most complicated and intriguing subjects-relationships. You don’t know whom you will gel with, whom you will get along with, who will come close to you, which one moment will define all throughout your life how you look at a certain person….all these and many more form an integral part of these really hazy bridge across people called relationships. Some of these relationships fall under the ambit of easily defined and understood words like family, friends etc but there are some which fit in none of these conventional terms but still are very important. Equally perplexing (and at times disturbing as well) is the thought that what makes us close to someone and what is that which prevents that from happening when you know that it should be so. If I talk of myself, I get along with a few people well and at times when I look into some of them, I don’t know under what term will that fit or even more perplexing, why is that so. Generally people tend to use the word friendship as an all-encompassing, residual term for all forms of relationships. Right from acquaintances to colleagues to people we eye, friendship is often a very umbrella word used. If it’s not family and we are close, it’s a friend. Period! I however have strong views on this. There are some relationships which are beyond the definitions of any of these conventionally understood terms; let’s leave it like that. Let me give you two personal examples; one person who has made a lot of difference in my life and I think is pretty close to me is a guy who is something like 10 years elder to me, is a very senior person and my first interaction with him was a brief 30 mins where me (totally ignorant about his status) went on bullshitting about so many damn things under the sun. That’s it but then he went ahead (without any second interaction after the first one mentioned) and referred me to a job when I needed it, helped me in my career decisions and even today whenever we can, we do catch up for some beer/coffee. Another example is there is this person with whom I feel extremely comfortable but guess what, we have never met and know each other only for some time. Some things are really weird. Equally weird is the picture on the other end of the spectrum. There are some people who we know really care for us, really are genuine people but somehow despite all this regard for them, we just can’t get along with them. There is something which stops us from sending the right vibes and you know it’s not right but then you just can’t do anything with it. Weird… One more aspect which I think deserves attention is how one moment at times is so defining that forever we judge the person because of that moment alone, irrespective of what they do, how they behave with us in present times. I remember once, way back in 1999 there was this friend of mine who said to me on phone, ”Good you screamed on me, at least you are feeling better now”. Even today when I think of her, it’s this moment which defines how I treat her. And over and above is the whole issue of this man-woman relationship. Let’s not even get into this. Then there is something else. For people who are away from that emotional anchor being provided by family, friends attain a very important position. I mean they are the ones you go back to at the end of the day whenever you want someone around. And think of it, some people have no regard for it. I remember once (unfortunately) I had to rush a friend of mine to the hospital and there the admin was unwilling to accept the word friend under the column relationship with the patient. For them, there was simply nothing tangible called friendship. Some things indeed are beyond the realms of our comprehension….